My blog has been quiet…

A full time job, trying to be a good and present mum, moving house (being screwed out of money, well this is Thailand) and some visa stress mixed in my little pot had me running for cover. Homesickness has been gnawing at me until I booked a flight home…19 days and counting. Hubby can’t come as obviously that would mean gigantic PILES of paperwork.

On the bright side in my small world here in nowhere for mums Nakhon,  I created the Mama Ferang closed group on Facebook. It’s closed so the women on it can be private in their thoughts, rants and advice. A space for only women who are with a Thai man as we are a special (patient) lot.

I have not yet managed to lure another mum to come and live here yet, working on that.

So far the group now with nearly 50 members has proved to be a fantastic hub of sharing, caring and had me laughing a lot!

There we were thinking we were alone with our crazy lost in translation moments when asked for a towel but really mean a tissue or commanded to “hold this” and mean the plastic bag not the baby, so plastic bag drops and the jar of pesto inside leaves this world. True story. Sad day. The hours we all spend daydreaming as we have no clue what is being said amongst groups speaking faster than lightning Thai and sharing stories about the interfering strangers and in laws with their ‘moments’ in their masses as everyone is a family member here!

It takes a village and even if at the moment it’s all online for me, I’m glad to have found these other women to call my community.

Here are my TOP TIPS to parenting in Thailand:

  • Don’t ever let one drop of rain fall on your child’s head. 

. If they become sick it’s because of the rain, air conditioner or swimming, not because of the presence of a virus or bacteria which they may have picked up from another child.

. If they have symptoms of a common cold or cough bring them to hospital.

. Once in hopsital before you do anything take at least 3 or 4 selfies and then pictures of your ‘sick’ child.

  • Feed them mush and constantly clean their mouths, let no food fall.

. Even if they can hold food and enjoy feeding themselves with their hands do not let them do this, they will choke.

. Never give them anything to eat larger than a pea.

. Constantly make yum sounds as you try to get food in their mouth and repeat ‘you are so strong’ at every single mouthful.

  • Tell them to never cry

. Encourage them to be strong and not cry even of they have fallen from a great height and and knocked out their front teeth, with a fat lip, expect NO TEARS!

. If their nose is bleeding also tell them not to cry and put cold water on their head.

. Repeat ‘you are strong’

  • Call your child a beautiful, meaningful name and then give them a ridiculous nickname* such as:

Pizza or pasta

Boss or Deal

Big or Fat

James Bond, Google, Data, Beta or Omega

Disney, IQ, Newton

French Fry

“Met a coffeemate once”

“Brothers named Champagne and Wallpaper”

“We have Iphone in the family”

“Donut gets me every time”

“Use to teach a Pancake”

“Personal favorites are brothers Donut, Donight, and their sister Doneet”

“In one class I have a Sky, Sprite, and Sugar”

Nymph or Paint

Pee and Poo or Big Poo

Bank and Beer

Warm and Mean

Yurin and PP

When translated from Thai; White Tooth, Frog, Smells Nice

“Ultra is obviously #1”

*These are all REAL nicknames with thanks to all my contributors, you had me in stitches!



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